Why Look at the Past in Order to Heal?

As a therapist, I often hear the question, “Why should I spend time on things that have already happened?” It’s a valid question, based on how we have been taught to understand time.

Time, according to our academic learning, is on a timeline, where today is a physical spot on that timeline, and something that happened when were four years old, let’s say, is a certain distance away from where we are standing today. That is how we have come to measure time—that we can have a measurable physical distance from an experience we have had.

But in consciousness, in our psyche, that’s not how time works. Within us, our mind/brain/body connection, we carry all of those experiences around with us in this moment. All of the thoughts, feelings, attitudes, beliefs, and more, that we have ever had are stored in our amazing system we have as a soul living in a human body. We don’t gain a physical distance from those experiences; they are with us all the time.

For example, when we learn something, that new knowledge stays with us. In first grade, I learned that one plus one is two. I didn’t leave that knowledge back at my six year old self in time. I brought it with me, and it was reinforced over and again. I learned and used that knowledge as I grew, experienced, and learned more about numbers.

We do that with all experiences. We experience, and gather information, make decisions, have feelings, and create beliefs around those experiences; then take all of that with us moving forward. Sometimes those decisions, information, and beliefs are erroneous, but they are temporarily stuck in our programming. When we look at past experiences, we can uncover those faulty thought patterns, and be more able to consciously reprogram ourselves today.

We address our past in so far as it is getting in the way of our present experience and expression. What tools have you used to heal from past experiences?

Here’s a link to Spiritual Power Tools: Support for Your Soul that has the iceberg image that I mention in this video: http://cfenlightenment.org/store/free-downloads-mp3s-and-e-books/6986974 Be sure to practice good karma and leave a donation if you choose to download the book!

Thanks for watching!

Lynn Barrette, LCSW
http://www.dynamiccounseling.info
https://www.facebook.com/dynamiccounseling/

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2 thoughts on “Why Look at the Past in Order to Heal?

  1. Thank you, I see that until we look at our past experience (sometimes I have to look deep) and bring those feelings forward, I don’t heal completely. Am I getting that right? Love your videos!

    *Lovingly & Thoughtfully sent, * *Linda *

    On Tue, Apr 4, 2017 at 7:49 AM, Spirituality & Counseling wrote:

    > lynnbarrette posted: ” As a therapist, I often hear the question, “Why > should I spend time on things that have already happened?” It’s a valid > question, based on how we have been taught to understand time. Time, > according to our academic learning, is on a timeline, where tod” >

    Like

  2. The tools I’ve used is seeing in the moment when an experience happens to me, how to “fix” it/my feelings, or follow how it all works out and that can take and did take years.

    As an example, I had been molested as a 6 yr old. I completely blanked out that experience right after it happened. I stood at the door as I was leaving this man and mentally saw this white sheet being pulled down in front of me. And I walked out feeling free. I did tell him with fists on my hips, “My parents would never do anything like that!”

    I didn’t tell my parents as I knew my dad’s reaction would be to literally kill this man who was a neighbor and the father of the girl that was my best friend who also had been molested that same time. Later in my life when my mother asked why I didn’t tell her. I asked what would have happened had I told you. She said, “Your dad would have killed him.” and I said, I knew that and that’s why I didn’t tell. I didn’t want MY dad to go to jail because he was the good man.

    I knew that my Dad would never do that to anyone, and I didn’t want my dad to go to jail for killing this man. I was a deep thinker for a 6 yr. old.

    My girlfriend and this family moved when she was 10 to California. Before they moved, I had no fear of him but stayed way away from him unless my parents or my siblings were close.

    I found out that he had continued to molest his daughter until she was 15 and felt strong enough to stop him. I heard nothing more about her. She just sent “how are you, I am fine” letters for years. She never then revealed anything about her life in those elementary through high School years.

    She married in CA and I married in my hometown. This experience came up in my marriage for several years having challenges and feelings for my children that I did not know why, until I remembered what had happened to me at age 6.

    Years later, the molester and his wife came back to see everyone of family and friends who were still in our neighborhood. All our neighbors who knew them were invited to another neighbors home for a luncheon to greet them.

    I prayed to not show any feeling whatsoever to this man and prayed that I could sit at the same table and feel a detachment.

    Although after this happened as a child/teen I had sexual fears of men and stayed away from boys older than myself.

    My parents and I met with them, and of course, I was sat right next to him to have brunch. I wanted to face my fear or hate for this man. I also know that forgiveness is mine to give.

    After sitting next to this man, I had no feelings, fear or hate. I could tell I had been released. I ate and visited with them like nothing ever happened, and it was a real feeling of “nothingness” and that remained with me from then on.

    My girlfriend/his daughter told me later in the year that he was picked up for molesting his wife’s niece. Proving to me that no one gets away with anything, AND my dad did not have to suffer for a karma that did not belong to him.

    It was years later, and after my friend, his daughter, and I visited a lot of what had happened. No one would have done a thing in those days, it happened way too often and it seemed to be the men’s rights. I’m deeply saddened by the loss of women’s freedom now at work again. Thank you for letting me share. I know this happens way too often and why I was so wise at 6 yrs. old, I don’t know, but I do know how protected I was from within.

    *Lovingly & Thoughtfully sent, * *Linda *

    On Tue, Apr 4, 2017 at 12:14 PM, Linda Michael wrote:

    > Thank you, I see that until we look at our past experience (sometimes I > have to look deep) and bring those feelings forward, I don’t heal > completely. Am I getting that right? > Love your videos! > > *Lovingly & Thoughtfully sent, * > *Linda * > > On Tue, Apr 4, 2017 at 7:49 AM, Spirituality & Counseling comment-reply@wordpress.com> wrote: > >> lynnbarrette posted: ” As a therapist, I often hear the question, “Why >> should I spend time on things that have already happened?” It’s a valid >> question, based on how we have been taught to understand time. Time, >> according to our academic learning, is on a timeline, where tod” >>

    Like

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