What We All Need to Do about Trump

I’ve been a mental health therapist and spiritual counselor for almost 12 years, and I haven’t seen anything like I did starting in November 2016. My field called it “Trump Anxiety Syndrome”, and it started the night he was elected President of the United States.

I have listened to friends, family members, clients, and strangers all expressing fear about what was happening in our country. I have felt it myself. Most days, actually.

As a person who has been trained at depth to look at the bigger picture, I started asking myself, “What do we need to do to heal this fracture that has become US?”

This is a problem for all of us—not one of us is left out of this gaping wound.

The common denominator—and I don’t care what “side” you are on—is that Trump is a predator, a perpetrator; and you are either on the victim side of that, or the enabling side of that. And your choice is based on emotions from your past.

As I listened to all of these people in my life, their thoughts, opinions, emotions, the common thread was that Trump is triggering for each of us all of the times we have ever been on the receiving end of a perpetration of any size. He’s a bully, a violent asshole. Who hasn’t experienced either of those in some shape or form?

Power. Safety. Survival. These are the buttons he pushes in you, no matter what, no matter who you care to vote for in any election.

If you are afraid of him, look into your history and see where you have ever been a victim of bullying behavior, by a parent, classmate, authority figure, or peer of any kind.

He punches you right in that tender, unprocessed place in your body where all that hurt is stored. He reminds you of nearly everything you hate about the darkness of which humans are capable.

If you are sympathetic with him to any extent whatsoever, the same is true for you. He gives you safety from a false sense of threat. He lies and says that you aren’t safe unless you believe his every word and back him up. It’s better to side with the bully than to be the victim, isn’t it?

And he’s right. If you don’t buy into what he’s doing, he’ll throw you aside like he does with all of his nay-sayers.

Just like a bully does.

Just like an abuser does.

Just like a predator does.

Ok, take a deep, belly breath.

What can we do?

Not only does he remind us of our violated places in our own history, he is actively perpetrating against humanity on a regular basis. How can we do anything about that?

Forgive.

What??

Forgive. And forgive like crazy.

Forgive all of those past hurts of all the bullies you have ever encountered because that emotion is coloring your ability to proceed clearly, calmly, wisely.

If you identify with either of the following statements, this work belongs to you:

“I’ve been hurt and I want to hurt you back, so I will attack the bully.” (As tempting as this is, it’s not healing or solution-oriented.)

Or:

“I’ve been hurt and taken from, and I’m scared for my safety, so I’m siding with the bully because he’ll keep me safe.”

You can mix and match those and they still fit, don’t they?

Forgive, because while he is still perpetrating, your past hurt makes you lash out in more hurt and anger, and fuels the bully and all of his cohorts.

There is no winning, no healing, no moving forward with past hurt as the powerful fuel feeding today’s fire. We are being shown in full color how being run by emotions ends badly. For everyone.

Forgive because we need your voice! Clear, strong, unrelenting, rational, persistent.

And when you engage in emotional force that results in insults, more hurt, division, separation, you are fueling the perpetrator. You are giving him fodder for his damaging behavior, fodder for his fear-based rhetoric that is Pablum for his supporters.

And if you do support him, or are even mildly sympathetic, forgive. Forgive those you fear. Fear always lies. Forgive those you are afraid will take something that belongs to you. Forgive those who you are are afraid will hurt you. Forgive those you feel misunderstand you. Only then will you see clearly what is real.

Hopefully you also reflect on why you are so fearful; but if all you do is forgive those you feel threaten your safety, you will help us all be a step ahead of where we are now.

It may not seem like much, but nothing will change without each of us taking this step.

The only way we will make it through this is to clear our own past hurts and threats and fears and anger. Then we can see how to stand, how to communicate, how to embrace, how to heal, how to evolve.

Please. Forgive. Today and tomorrow and the next day. Whatever it takes. Heal and rise above the hurt so that you can be part of a greater America. A greater World.

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You Might Be a Soul Evolutionist If…

Are you a Soul Evolutionist?

You are a soul in evolution, awakening over time to who you are as a human being, and who you are in your divinity.

Our friends at Mirriam Webster define evolution in this way: “To develop by evolutionary processes from a primitive to a more highly organized form.”

Soul Evolution, then, is the process each soul goes trhough to develop from lesser to greater awareness of itself as Pure Energy, part of the Infinite Presence of the Universe.

We are all in this process together; so, you might be a Soul Evolutionist if…

You want to be connected to that Infinite Presence, and want to develop that connection even more.

You have a desire and longing to feel your connection to something greater than yourself, and feel that longing in your heart and whole being.

When I was 19 years old, I had just completed my term as International President of the Youth of Unity (Y.O.U.), the youth group of my denomination. It was a fantastic year, filled with joy and loving connections across the country. I felt satisfied as I entered my sophomore year in college. Over the second weekend, my roommmate had gone home, and I decided to clean our room (primarily my mess!). I put in a cassette tape (eek) of some of my favorite spiritual chants to listen to while I was cleaning. My favorite one came on, so I sang along with the words: “I surrender to the Love of God, flowing through my life.”

I sang these words over and over again as I moved around the room picking things up. Suddenly, I started crying and dropped to my knees. As I watched myself cry from the inside, I wondered, “Why am I crying? Everything is going well; I have no reason to cry.”

I then “heard” a loud, booming voice. I turned to see if someone was in the room with me, but knew it was coming from inside of myself.

“Don’t be done with God, just because you’re done with Y.O.U.”

A montage of images flashed through my mind, showing me how one part of me thought I was doing my spiritual service for the accolades from family and friends. What this “voice” was showing me was that I was acting out of the deepest desire of my heart. MY heart; not anyone else’s. I adjusted my life plans to align with this desire from that day forward.

What is your deepest desire, and how do your actions align with that?

You might be a soul evolutionist if…

You know there is a “morfe” to life than what you experience with your five physical senses.

We call this intution, and it is an innate appendage to who you are. The more you use it, the better it works for you. Call on it. Ask for guidance in the little things to help hone and strengthen your awareness of and trust in your intuitive promptings. The Soul Evolutionist knows to turn to that inner resource in life circumstances, big and small.

You might be a Soul Evolutionist if…

You want to understand why things are happening inside and outside of you.

You see the injustices of the world and wonder why they exist. Why is my son a natural musician and I fizzled out of my piano lessons when I was ten years old? Does God love him more than me? Is he special and I’m chopped liver? Or, did he work hard to deveolp that talent before he came into this world?

There are answers to these questions, and the Soul Evolutionist is no longer satisfied with the mystery. You ask “Why?” and forge your way deeper into learning the workings of the Universe, while at the same time beginning to understand your own inner workings.

You might be a Soul Evolutionist if…

You know that you are responsible for taking part in the awakening of yourself to your Self, and you embrace that active participation.

It’s not just about knowing a little bit about meditaiton, or forgiveness, or intuition; it’s about realinzing that with that knowledge comes a palpable responsibility to do something about it–to put your spiritual understandings into everyday practice. How do you use meditaiton to support your awareness? How do you use forgiveness when up against someone who is really pushing your buttons? How do you incorporate your intuition in every area of your life?

How do you consciously, willingly, triumphantly support your soul’s evolution?

Thank you for watching, and please join me for a workshop delving deeper into this concept of Soul Evolution!

Monday, September 24, 2018
7:00 to 9:00 pm
Infinity Foundation
1280 Old Skokie Road
Highland Park, IL 60035
Link to register: http://www.infinityfoundation.org/courses/spiritual-inquiry-practice/soul-evolution.aspx

Video recorded:
2018 July 22 Lynn Barrette Unity in Naperville, Illinois

It Takes a Whole Lotta “No” to Make a “Yes”!

Greetings!

Lynn Barrette, here, licensed clinical therapist and spiritual counselor, talkiing to you about how it takes a whole lot of “no”s to make a “YES”!

As we set up a goal, the first thing we do is have an idea for a goal. Perhaps we’d like a new job, behavior change, relationship, or life tranisition of any kind.

Next we define that goal: What it looks and feels like, what action steps are involved, and so forth.

Then the tricky part comes in: Keeping your focus on your goal, and aligning your actions and choices with that goal! That includes saying “no” to anything that doesn’t back up your goal.

Let’s take, for example, the goal of eating healthier foods. You say “Yes” to healthy foods, and “No” to all the tempting sweets and processed foods that aren’t going to fit your goal. Yes to greens, no to cookies. Yes to whole fruits, no to that third piece of bread; and so forth. Each time you say no, you are brining yourself back to your goal and strengthening your resolve and building confidence and assurance wtih it.

In this video, I give a personal example that I’ve been working on, that came to a wonderful fruition just this week. As I describe my process, as a side note I mention a journaling and release process called “Seven Steps for Successful Life Transitions“, and promised to include the link, so simply click for a pdf download of the wonderful tool.

I can tell you more about it in another video. In fact, here’s one place where I talk about it more:

Through the process of saying “Yes” and “No” toward your goal, you define and refine your focus, then you know when your goal is achieved, that it is exactly what you are looking for. Be willing to say “Yes!” but don’t forget that your “No!” is just as valuable on your journey.

Thanks for watching!

Mental Health Apps

I recently had the honor of adding my two cents to a local CBS news station report on mental health apps. Here’s a link to the clip:

http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2017/06/29/mental-health-apps-for-that/

Although they’re not for everyone, especially when someone is in crisis, apps can help us become aware of what needs adjustment in our thinking and perceptions. When we pay attention to the emotional noise going on in our minds and make adjustments to our thinking and behaviors, we are one step closer to supporting our healing.