Tag Archive | pandemic

FOMO No More!

You may be familiar with the concept of “FOMO”, “Fear of Missing Out”—an external pull towards doing everything—or as much as we possibly can—out of a fear of missing an event or activity in which others are partaking. It’s the ultimate “Keeping up with the Joneses” drive.

Pre-pandemic, FOMO kept us busy and disengaged from our wise, quiet centers; and from being connected more presently with others. We were compelled to do, do, do. Do for our kids and their overbooked schedules. Do for work just a little more every day. Do on the weekends so we don’t miss out on the “time off”. Do whatever else, just so we can cross it off a list of some sort.

Then came the pandemic that reintroduced staying home and re-learning how to occupy ourselves. The pandemic did, of course, have its own FOMO issues, such as the (made-up) social pressure to become the best gardener/baker/crafter/closet organizer/home remodeler/ and so forth. Not that there is anything wrong with being active, crafty, or handy! However, activity—going out all the time to restaurants and more restaurants, concerts, and other various activities, kept us from remembering what is important: Real connection.

FOMO is when we use those activities to forget our inner life, believing that what’s on the outside is more important than what’s on the inside—while at the same time trying to feel fulfilled. It isn’t fulfilling, but, darn it, we sure do keep on trying with gusto!

As our country and world begin to reopen (some places sooner than others), let’s remember a few important lessons we learned from our time of sheltering in place:

1.     Quiet is the way we listen to and strengthen our intuition. When we are too busy, that still, small voice within is drowned by noises, worry, rushing, and over-scheduling. Plan your daily quiet time. There is nothing more important than that.

2.     Remember JOMO, the Joy Of Missing Out. Did you really miss all that activity? Or, was it refreshing not to have to be on the go all the time? What are you glad you were able to stop doing during our shelter-in-place time? Don’t feel obligated to recommence everything. Pick the ones that fit the lifestyle you want, and leave the rest for the FOMOists!

3.     Remember the importance of connection. When we couldn’t gather with our loved ones, remember how important that became. Remember how we longed for human touch and togetherness. A crowded concert is not the same as a quiet gathering with family or close friends.

4.     Remember the nature that flourished while the humans were quiet. Remember how a walk outside was a unique experience filled with wonder and deeply  refreshing to our concerned minds and hearts. Appreciate those moments of breathing in the quiet stirrings of nature.

Let’s not go back to busyness at all costs! Remember what is important: connection with our loved ones, connection with nature, connection within.

Connection to Self, Others, Nature
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Managing Emotions during Turmoil

Are you tired of dealing with the pandemic yet? Join the club! Yet, here you are, so how are you supporting yourself?

Being aware of your internal reactions to what is happening is essential to staying current with your mind/body system during this time. Perhaps one day you are acutely aware of what is happening, another day you feel distantly removed from the moment-by-moment impact the virus is having on our planet. Perhaps you are staying blissfully positive about the healing that will take place from this global “pause” that is happening. Perhaps you want to stay positive but are also feeling worry or even fear about potential outcomes.

All of these are valid responses—and any other reactions on that continuum. To deny either is to miss an opportunity to be present with and support yourself during this unique experience. Observing your ups and downs can be simple (even if not always easy!) if you keep in mind this cycle:

Body sensation, emotion, emotional thoughts, rational thoughts, new perception.

When you’re paying attention, you can often notice your emotions as body sensations. Sometimes the emotional thought comes first, then a body reaction happens. Either way, when emotions come up in the body, the body needs to be calmed before you can reach a new, calming way to hold your experience.

To calm the body, first have compassion for whatever thought or emotion is coming up for you. Remind yourself that this will pass. Ground yourself by going for a walk, focusing on your breath or a bit of nature outside of your window. Ask yourself, “What emotion am I feeling?” This question starts the movement from body to mind process.

The next step is validation of the emotional thoughts coming up. I call this the emotion’s “story”. Once you name the emotion, ask, “What is this emotion’s story?” What is it saying? COMPASSION is again necessary! Try not to judge the feeling/emotion, no matter how irrational it seems. Journal, talk to someone, or say it out loud to yourself. By listening to your inner reaction, you are being a good friend to yourself!

The next step is asking for a new perspective, moving up to the rational thinking mind. Ask yourself, “What is a new perception I can take that will be calming to me?” Journal your options, talk through them. What is in your control to do, say, change? Anything? Maybe awareness and validation are enough—and often, it is.

When you go through a difficult experience, having validation is important but sometimes hard to find. Self-validation far outlasts any validation you could receive from others.

This is the simple three-step process:

  1. What am I feeling?
  2. What is the story this emotion is telling me?
  3. What is the new perception or action I can take that will be calming to me?

Daily meditation is calisthenics for being able to manage your emotions. During meditation, you are practicing sitting with yourself, being aware of body (comfort, discomfort) as well as thoughts and emotions. You are practicing tolerating all of your mind and body stimulus – just BEING with whatever shows up, without judgment. The result is that you are able to be more aware, mindful, calm(er), of your whole self when something triggers you during the day.

Check in with yourself daily. Keep up with your internal process during this unusual experience we are all going through. Reach out for support or a listening ear. Find things to be grateful for and to laugh about. Most of all, be a good friend to yourself.

Visit me at Center for Dynamic Healing!

Maintaining Clarity during Turmoil

We are experiencing a unique time. We all have a great need to connect and support each other, even when physical connection is necessarily limited right now. I offer you what I am practicing myself, and sharing with others in my work.

The pandemic is a global issue that is affecting EVERYONE on the planet right now; and we are all in shock. Whether we are aware of it or not, we are in shock. Whenever we experience something that we don’t know how to fully wrap our minds around, our brain/body system goes into a state of shock of self-protection until we can fully grasp what is happening or has happened to us.

Fear is contagious; so is PEACE. Everything we do right now to support ourselves in maintaining our own calm is supporting humanity. Taking care of ourselves is the best way to help everyone.

How has the pandemic affected you so far? Have you noticed any of these:

  • Fewer distractions
  • Left to our own thoughts
  • More intense relationship time
  • Less positive validation from others
  • Easy to forget our impact
  • Depletion of positive activities
  • Decreased human touch / Hugs
  • Touching on old issues/trauma

What positive outcome can you see coming from this time?

  • Re-evaluate priorities – What is really important to you?
  • Let go of bad habits
  • Reinforce positive changes
  • Commit to being good to yourself

Remember your basic self-care right now:

  • Maintain healthy hygiene
  • Maintain good nutrition
  • Do those little things that help you feel extra good about yourself
  • Keep moving! Go for walks as available
  • Get outside, get sun
  • Take advantage of YouTube: Yoga, exercise videos, variety of movement
  • Laughter and play are essential!
  • Connect with others via telephone, FaceTime, Skype, etc
  • Be productive – Get those home projects done!

And, be extra aware of what is happening on the INSIDE of you during this time. How you are feeling and coping with our current reality will likely change every day!

  • Have compassion for yourself right now.
  • None—NONE–of us know what we’re doing!
  • Write down your thoughts and feelings about what is happening and how it is affecting you
  • How are you different because of this? How might you be different?
  • Look for positive possibilities within the upheaval
  • Embrace the moment / BE HERE NOW more than ever
  • Listen to your inner voice and follow that inner prompting

Here is a simple guide to be aware of your inner process:

  1. Know Yourself
  2. STOP. STOP!
  3. Proceed from your calm state

Know Yourself: In order to manage your own emotion, you must first be aware of what emotions are arising in you. Pay attention to yourself, your feelings, your thoughts, your body tension. How does feeling stressed or affected by the pandemic show up for you? Other questions to help you be aware of yourself include:

  • How are you dealing with what is happening? Serious? Flippant? Afraid? Superhero? Numb?
  • What in your life has changed already because of this?
  • What might possibly change in the near or distant future?
  • What do you need during this time to care for yourself?
  • Be aware—you might not know the answers to any of these yet!
  • Have alone time if you’re at home with others — Be with YOU!

Stop. STOP. STOP! : Regaining clarity to your body means moving from a state of dysregulation (agitation) to regulation (calm). Your mind-body system will follow your focus. Step away from the thoughts.

  • Go for a walk and pay attention to the nature that you see.
  • Notice that birds are still singing, clouds are still blowing by, grass is still growing green, flowers are emerging
  • Get up and clean something – you know, THAT closet… Be productive!
  • Quiet mind, quiet body / Quiet body, quiet mind
  • Meditation

Proceed from Your Calm State: When your mind-body system is calm, your thinking is clear, “Proceeding” can mean:

  • Take an action – Reach out, rest, write your thoughts, be productive,
  • Let go of believing that there is something you can control
  • Be there for someone else – Get out of yourself
  • Did I mention, “Let go”?
  • Flow with the current reality

Your best support of yourself, your loved ones, your community, your global family right now is cooperating with the public safety measures and taking the best care of yourself that you can, with love, compassion, and supporting your own peace daily.

With much love,

Lynn

Resources from video:

Spiritual Thermometer

HeartMath Quick Breath

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